“With self-compassion, we give ourselves the same kindness and care we’d give to a good friend.”~Kristin Neff
How often do you give your peace of mind away by criticizing and judging yourself?
If you wonder if this is true for you, think of a time recently when you made a mistake and reflect on how you spoke to yourself.
Were you loving and compassionate or unkind and self-critical?
Each time our self talk is disrespectful and judgmental, we undermine ourselves and reduce our confidence and self-worth. And we also give away our peace of mind and increase our stress.
As Sally Kempton reminds us, “It’s hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head.”
If you noticed that you were unkind to yourself when you made a mistake, ask yourself if you would ever speak that way to a good friend?
The answer for most of us is a resounding no, yet we so easily berate and criticize ourselves.
But what if we choose self-compassion instead?
I am inspired by Tosha Silver’s wise words, “Most importantly, be gentle with yourself. You can’t hate yourself into change. You can’t shame yourself into change. It just doesn’t work. The one way change can happen is if you can love yourself as you are, and then, from that place of love, you can muster up the faith and courage you’ll need in order to do what must be done.”
Indeed self-compassion is the practice of loving yourself just as you are. Owning and accepting who you are and forgiving yourself when you make a mistake instead of rejecting yourself embodies the transformative power of self-compassion.
There are so many benefits to treating ourselves with kindness and compassion including decreasing stress, increasing peace of mind and improving our overall health and wellness. How we treat ourselves also informs how others treat us. When we choose to treat ourselves with kindness and compassion, we teach others by our example and the ripple effects are endless.
From this place of self-compassion we can transform our feelings of unworthiness. When we choose to be kind to ourselves, we reinforce our value and self-worth. With each act of self-compassion, we reinforce our worthiness and nurture inner peace.
With a practice of self-compassion you can transform negative thinking and create peace of mind at any time. Self-compassion is a deeply self-nurturing act and reinforces our worth and value with each compassionate response.
So commit today to making the world a little kinder by embracing more kindness and compassion for yourself and may you nurture peace in the world from the inside out!
Please share your comments below to inspire and encourage others!
Sending you so much peace, love and gratitude,
Kelley Grimes, M.S.W.
Counselor, Author & Speaker
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Love the idea of self-compassion and how you speak to yourself. I try to remember the at-risk youth I work with and how would I speak to them. This helps be much more mindful and compassionate to myself. xoxo
Thank you so much Natasha for your comment and the wonderful illustration of the power of treating ourselves with the same compassion we would give to others. I am grateful for you!
Your new website is so beautiful! Congratulations! I loved this blog post. I once listened to a meditation that kept repeating: Be gentle to yourself. Such wise words. Thank you for the reminder. xoxo
Thank you so much Jill! I am so grateful for your kind words and wisdom – be gentle to yourself. Such a simple but powerful intention. I really appreciate your support!
Beautiful post to kick off your new website Kelley! So excited for your new adventure! Much love Debra
Thank you so much Debra! I am so grateful for your support and love!
Love your new site Kelley! We can’t force ourselves through negativity to create peace of mind. Love, compassion, self exploration and self-kindness puts us in a positive space where we can get in touch with our inner knowing. Day by day we make conscious choices that lead to peace of mind.
Thank you so Debra for your sweet feedback! I am so excited about my new site and cultivating peace and joy! I totally agree that we can’t force ourselves through negativity or shame ourselves for having negative thoughts or emotions. Recognizing we can make conscious choices is empowering and absolutely leads to peace of mind. Thank you for your thoughtful comment!
This is a message we all need to hear over & over again Kelley! As the Kindness Junkie I always talk about spreading kindness…and it includes being kind to ourselves, something we often forget to do or put last. Thanks for a beautiful reminder. 🙂
Thank you so much Tae Lynne! I love that your passion is to spread kindness and I believe for that to be authentic we much treat ourselves with kindness and compassion. I am so grateful for your kind words!