“With a daily ritual of self-care, an inner worthiness begins to blossom. Once it does you will find the courage to act in ways that are self-expressive and self-protective. You will start caring for each part of yourself with a fierce and tender concern.”
~Alice Domar
Throughout my counseling career, I have witnessed the devastating impact of clients not knowing their value and worth.
When we do not feel worthy we often do not protect ourselves or express ourselves fully. As a result, we end up living lives based on what other people need rather what we need and our habit of self-neglect takes root. The more we neglect our needs, the less important we feel, which reinforces our sense of unworthiness and continues the cycle.
When we do not value ourselves we also have a limited view of what is possible in our lives and may remain in situations that are disempowering. Feeling disempowered undermines our self-confidence and belief in ourselves and often keeps us feeling stuck and powerless. These experiences eat away at our value and worth and leave us even more vulnerable.
But the good news is, there is another way!
I have found that as women consistently nurture themselves, they feel more empowered and able to recognize and own their true value and worth. It is a beautiful, positive self-fulfilling cycle. The more we nurture ourselves, the better we feel about ourselves, which leads us to prioritize nurturing ourselves more consistently.
Just by taking a small step to care for yourself, you are taking a stand for yourself and your life – nurturing your value and worth.
And the benefits are infinite. As we develop practices of self-nurturing, we easily open our hearts to ourselves and others, deepen our compassion, find our discoverable strengths, improve our health, financial situation and relationships, and recognize and appreciate our inner goodness and worth.
Through the empowering practice of self-nurturing we reclaim our lives and express ourselves in authentic, mindful and powerful ways. We are better able to protect ourselves and create lives of peace, joy and meaning.
Understanding that we have the power to nurture our own value and worth is empowering and liberating.
This beautiful Zen poem by Pamela Metz and Jacqueline Tobin highlights the importance of nurturing ourselves.
“Grounded”
Stretching herself too thin, she breaks her connections.
Staying too busy, she has no time.
Doing for others, she neglects herself.
Defining herself only through others, she loses her own definition.
The wise woman waters her own garden first.
May you water your own garden first as you nurture peace in the world from the inside out!
Sending you so much peace, love and gratitude,
Kelley Grimes, M.S.W.
Counselor, Author & Speaker
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Thank you Kelley, I love those benefits of self nurturing. Beautiful poem too.
Thank you for sharing.
I really appreciate your comment Leila and hope we can keep spreading the word about the benefits of self-nurturing so we give our selves permission to nurture ourselves every day!
Yes I am watering my garden daily a.nd it empowers and inspires me to become more or me and who i am becoming. i love the poem and I recognise myself there in the past. Thanks Kelley great reminder as it is easy to slip back xo
Thank you Suzie for your comment and recognizing how easy it is for us to slip back into a old habit of self-neglect. I love how empowered and inspired you are to joyfully express who you are becoming! Thank you for being a wonderful role model of self-nurturing.
Timely, oh so timely!
The poem by Pamela speaks volumes to me.
Love ya. xo
So glad this resonates with you Lore! Pamela was a professor of mine in graduate school and was so inspiring and encouraging to me. Sending you much peace and love!
Wow Kelley you are speaking to my heart. I’ve found this to be true in my practice as well. I’ve spent my life working with clients to help them see their value and worth. But we have to begin with we are valuable and worthy because we are the divine essence of love. Thank you for sharing your brilliant light! <3
I so appreciate your wisdom Debra! Yes when we begin with how valuable and worthy we are because we are love, we can embrace ourselves with compassion even when we make mistakes. Thank you so much for your kind words!
“The wise woman waters her garden first” Love that! Absolutely true! I have a morning ritual I like to do that is so helpful. It’s loving and empowering and set the tone for the day. I also make time throughout the day each day to show love to myself and do loving things for myself. In turn I feel that love shows towards others. Love is the single most important thing in our lives. To love ourselves and to love others.
I love that line too so much and all of your self-nurturing practices that inspire you to love yourself as you spread that in the world! Thank you so much Heather!
So lovely! As a passionate gardener, I always feel the connection between how we nurture our inner gardens with the same love and attention that we pay to our outer gardens.
I love what you wrote Barb – nurturing our inner gardens with the same love and attention that we pay our outer gardens! Yes! Thank you so much for your lovely comment!
Thanks for the reminder that the more we practice self-worth, the more confident we become and the more we have to share with the world around us. I still catch myself at times, doubting what I can and cannot do, and if I step back and objectively look at what is really at the root of it, it is easier to let it go and proceed with ease. My sense is younger women have grown up with the idea of self-worth and have more ease at being who they are…with no apologies for it. Thanks Kelley!
I so appreciate your perspective Beverly but I have worked with many younger women who struggle with their self-worth similar to their mothers. We have an opportunity to model for all women and empower ourselves as we encourage each other to own our value and worth. Thank you so much for your comment!
My amaryllis finally stopped blooming — but the flowering ginger started the next day. Watching the myriad ways nature unfolds is a constant reminder of what we can do. Thanks, Kelley.
I totally agree Andrea – nature is a wonderful encourager and reminder of our authentic truth and worth. These amaryllis were in my neighbors’ garden and such a beautiful symbol of vitality and owning our value and worth. Thank you so much for your comment Andrea!
“Through the empowering practice of self-nurturing we reclaim our lives and express ourselves in authentic, mindful and powerful ways. We are better able to protect ourselves and create lives of peace, joy and meaning.” YES!! I love this, and the poem too! I believe that self-nurturing/self-care encourages us to be compassionate with ourselves and affords us a conscious awareness of how and who WE choose to BE, otherwise, we simply just do and live disconnected from our true nature.
Treating ourselves with self-compassion is a self-nurturing act and they both definitely encourage each other. I love the idea of being intentional about who we choose to be and using self-awareness as a guide to treat ourselves with more love. Thank you so much for your kind comment!
Kelly I adore my self nurturing me time daily. Its become such a need for my soul. Thank you for the beautiful reminders in this post. That quote you started with is just perfect!
How wonderful that you prioritize nurturing yourself Zeenat and recognize how essential it for you! I am so grateful for your comment!
Thank you for this reminder. Nurturing my own self worth is something I am still growing into. ????
I love that nurturing your own self worth is something you are growing into and so appreciate your comment Meghan!
How do I begin this process? The one about Amy Steinburg’s song has me crying too. I don’t know how to fix myself. Do you have a book? If I can accomplish working on myself my family will be healthy. Even more, I WILL!
I would love to talk to you more about how you begin this process. I love your willingness to nurture yourself and recognition that as you do you and your family will be more grounded and healthy. I do not believe we need to fix ourselves but rather we need to find ourselves. Let me know if you want to connect and thank you so much for your comment. [email protected]