“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.”
~Joan Didion
Whenever I begin introductions at a workshop or have a booth at a wellness or street fair, I invite participants to choose an intention word from one of my intention boxes. I affectionately refer to these boxes as “therapy in a box” because there is so much insight and wisdom to be gained through this simple yet powerful process.
Sometimes the intention word feels like an affirmation of what you have been consciously cultivating in your life, and sometimes the word provides a gentle nudge to open more to this intention.
The one word I have found that most people are uncomfortable receiving is responsibility. Some people actually groan when seeing this word and want to put it back and choose a new word. They often report feeling so overburdened with responsibility in their lives that it is overwhelming to think about another or even just see the word.
I have another take on responsibility though, one I believe is much more empowering and uplifting.
I believe that personal responsibility is essential to creating the life you want to live. When you want something in your life to be different, you must first identify what you want to change and then take the steps to do so. Each step in this process requires personal responsibility.
“If you own this story you get to write the ending.” ~Brene Brown
And this is where the empowerment comes flooding in! With each courageous act of personal responsibility, we no longer blame others or feel victimized, but truly recognize that we have the power to choose how we want to live our lives.
We show up for ourselves in a whole new way and become our own best friends, nudging ourselves to acknowledge our worth and our own authentic truth and beauty!
“Support is not always easy to come by if you wait for the world to see your worth. Discover your own worth and the world will indeed follow your lead. It’s the law of cause and effect! It has to happen. Support yourself.” ~Sereda Aleta Dailey
So today I invite you to look with compassion and non-judgement at an area of your life you are currently not satisfied with and then ask the following questions:
What aspect of this situation can I now assume personal responsibility around?
What could change if I no longer blamed others or felt victimized by this situation?
What empowering choice will you make to write a new ending to this story?
As Maya Angelou reminds us, “if you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”
Assuming personal responsibility requires willingness, vulnerability, courage, compassion, and acceptance and demands that instead of shaming ourselves for our past choices, that we support ourselves by making new empowered choices.
Consistently nurturing ourselves provides an anchor to our authentic selves and allows us to take on the challenge of assuming personal responsibility in creating the life we want to live, rather than living by default.
May you embrace the empowering choice of assuming personal responsibility as you nurture peace in the world from the inside out!
I love the idea of starting off your workshops with an intention box, that is cool! I appreciate your writings. As a psychotherapist myself, I often teach about personal responsibility and view it as freedom rather than a burden. Thanks for your wisdom, Kelley.
Thank you so much for your insight Lisa! Responsibility is the ultimate liberation and empowerment when we realize it lies in our choices. When I am responsible to myself I make choices in my highest good! I really appreciate your comment!
Great article, Kelley!
Responsibility can be a hard word for some individuals to, well, be responsible with. It can be easily confused with the word blame. I appreciate how you encourage us to apply ‘responsibility ‘ into our lives. It’s a choice only we can make for ourselves. <3
You are so right Cindy – responsibility can be confused with the word blame but we can reclaim it as an empowering word that inspires us to be responsible to ourselves by making nurturing and empowering choices! Thank you so much for your comment!
I admit I am one of those people who will not like to draw the word responsibility. What a wonderful and empowering take on the word, you have made me re-think it.
How wonderful Rachel! I look forward to seeing how changing the way you look at the word responsibility ripples out into your life. Thank you for your openness and willingness and for your comment!
What a beautifully written post, Kelley. I love how you reshape the context of responsibility — giving it adventurous and hopeful meaning. That changes everything!!!
Thank you so much Sheila! I love that you see responsibility reshaped with an adventurous and hopeful meaning! I know I hold it differently when it feels that way rather than a burden. I am so grateful for your comment and hope you have a beautiful day!
Personal responsibility is freeing and empowering. I love the expression “If I’m not the problem, there is no solution.” Thanks for a lovely post.
I love that expression Andrea! So true and clarifying for sure. Thank you so much for your wise comment!
Appreciating this question, “What empowering choice will you make to write a new ending to this story?” As always, heart opening, Kelley.
I love that question Lore! There are so many possibilities and to stay curious in the process and understand our future is created with each empowering choice fills me with energy and inspiration. Thank you so much for your comment!
Personal responsibility is a biggie that many glide over. This is not you are bad, rather reflect and how to learn from a mistake or misunderstanding. Xoxo
I love seeing responsibility as a reflection on ourselves and what we can learn from a mistake or understanding. If we aren’t willing to look at that we can not make a more empowering and nurturing choice. Thank you so much for your insight Natasha!
Maybe it’s because I’m older, but I was raised to believe that we have to take responsibility for what we do in or lives, and for our lives in general. I try to instill that in my grandchildren now while they’re still young enough to have it implanted in their inner operating system!
I was also raised to believe we have to take responsibility in and for our lives but it did not always feel empowering or liberating. I love that you are teaching your grandchildren to value responsibility and feel empowered by it!
Wow, Kelley, that landed beautifully in my heart. In two areas: business and health. Thank you for this clarity!
Thank you so much Sue for that lovely comment! When we bring honesty and transparency to our lives through personal responsibility there is no stopping us! I hope you have a beautiful day!
Thank you Kelly
I needed to hear about responsibility from a different perspective. The words Nurture and Anchor is what jumped out the most for my life at this point in time.
I’m working on making them a central part of my life.
I am so glad that it served you to look at responsibility from a new perspective and love that the words nurture and anchor resonated with you. I really appreciate you sharing your comment! Thank you!