“Befriending your mind, body and heart enables you to enact a love affair with the possible.”
~Jon Kabat-Zinn
What might be possible in your life if you treated yourself with the kindness you would show a dear friend? Imagine what might happen if you were able to respond to yourself with compassion when you made a mistake instead of criticizing and judging yourself? Do you think it might be possible for you to nurture yourself without feeling guilty or selfish if you cultivated more compassionate for yourself?
Each time we talk to ourselves in a disrespectful or judgmental way, we diminish our confidence and self-worth. When we are self-critical we undermine our peace of mind and belief in ourselves and actually fuel our stress.
But what if we choose self-compassion instead?
I am inspired by Tosha Silver’s wise words, “Most importantly, be gentle with yourself. You can’t hate yourself into change. You can’t shame yourself into change. It just doesn’t work. The one way change can happen is if you can love yourself as you are, and then, from that place of love, you can muster up the faith and courage you’ll need in order to do what must be done.”
Self-compassion is the practice of loving yourself just as you are. Accepting who you are and forgiving yourself when you make a mistake instead of rejecting yourself embodies the transformative power of self-compassion and self-love.
There are so many benefits to treating ourselves with more kindness and compassion including decreasing stress, increasing peace, and improving our overall health and wellness. How we treat ourselves also informs how others treat us. When we choose to treat ourselves with kindness and compassion, we teach others by our example and the ripple effects are endless.
From this place of self-compassion, we can transform our feelings of unworthiness. When we choose to be kind to ourselves, we reinforce our value and self-worth. Self-compassion then becomes a deeply self-nurturing act that reinforces our worth and value each time we choose a compassionate response. Therefore, self-compassion is essential in nurturing yourself.
And if you want to explore the power of cultivating compassion more deeply, please contact me for more information. If you are overwhelmed or exhausted, come learn how to:
- Recognize when you have given more than you have to give
- Understand how nurturing yourself benefits you and your loved ones
- Identify self-nurturing activities that can be completed in less than 10 minutes
May you begin to embrace more kindness and compassion for yourself and may you nurture peace in the world from the inside out!
Sending you so much peace, love and gratitude,
Kelley Grimes, M.S.W.
Counselor, Author & Speaker
Sign up to receive daily reminders with our mobile app!
Self-love and self-compassion is absolutely crucial to every happiness, big and small, micro- and macro-cosmic. And it is always something I can use plenty of reminders about, even though I wrote a book about self-love! So, thank you, Kelley, terrific post!
Reba I so appreciate you sharing that you can always use plenty of reminders around self-love and self-compassion, even though you wrote a book on self-love! I have been making it a practice to notice when I am responding to myself with compassion and recognize when I am being supportive to myself recently. Bringing mindfulness to this practice has deepened my understanding of how important self-compassion is in my growth. Thank you so much for your lovely comment!
Beautiful Kelley! I agree change happens when we love ourselves and one another. It occurs not through sheer force but through letting go and acceptance. Thanks for your healing words. xx
I love that you highlight that we cannot force change but that we must make space for change in our lives through letting go and acceptance. I am very grateful for your comment Lisa! Thank you!
Such an important topic, Kelley! Thank you for the work you do to help people better help themselves through self-love!
Thank you so much Sheila for your lovely comment Sheila! It is an honor to encourage people to be more loving and compassionate to themselves because that is how we will create a more loving and compassionate world! I hope you have a beautiful day!
I used to talk very negatively to myself, calling myself stupid or idiot whenever I messed something up or wasn’t paying attention. Then I started reading Louise Hay and self-love became my goal. Now when I mess up or make a mistake, I tell myself, “That’s okay, Sweetie. It’s not the end of the world.” You have to be your on BFF!
Barb I love that you call yourself sweetie and remind yourself that it is not the end of the world when you make a mistake. I find treating myself with compassion so liberating because it provides space for me to grow. Thank you so much for sharing your experience!
I love Tosha Silver’s wise words of wisdom. No matter how hard we try, we can’t hate ourselves into positive change. Thank you, Kelley, for your inspiring words and powerful message.
Life is an amazing adventure…
I love Tosha Silver’s wise words too Cindy and remind myself and my clients daily that we can not shame ourselves into positive change but must love ourselves through the process instead. I totally agree that life is an amazing adventure and responding to ourselves with compassion is the most nurturing choice we can make! Thank you so much for your comment!
I will be sharing this with an advocacy group I work with. Thank you!
Thank you so much for sharing with your group Andrea! We will all benefit cultivating more self-compassion.
Kelley this quotes speaks volumes for me Befriending your mind, body and heart enables you to enact
a love affair with the possible.”~Jon Kabat-Zinn When we do this e are showing kindness and compassion to ourselves. thank you- have a great webinar xxx
I love Jon Kabat-Zinn! He shared this quote at a talk I went to of his which was so inspiring. I intend to enact a love affair with the possible and know you will be joining me! Thank you so much!
I love the beautiful quote by Jon Kabat-Zinn you started with. So apt! And youre so right…there is literally no positive healing change through being judgmental. All good change happens when we can start being kind and compassionate with our beautiful selves.
xoxo, Z~
I totally agree with you Zeenat. Let’s commit to being kind and compassionate with our beautiful selves! Thank you so much for your comment!