“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”
~Nora Ephron
I am so inspired by people who have overcome adversity. Throughout my counseling career I have been honored and humbled to witness women heal from their trauma and transform their lives. I am continually amazed at how much strength, resilience, and courage my clients have in order to survive and how empowering it is when they recognize those qualities in themselves and begin to thrive.
The “Me Too” movement has highlighted how many of us have endured sexual harassment and sexual abuse. I appreciate the profound courage demonstrated by all the women who have spoken openly about their experiences rather than remaining silenced by their fear and shame. Seeing the variety of women who have been victimized allows us to recognize that this is not an individual issue but rather a systemic problem in our culture that supports violence against women.
It is not lost on me the generations of women who have come before me and acted courageously so that my daughters and I would have more choices today. I am blessed to have had a grandmother, mother, and older sister who were wonderful role models of empowered women and consistently reinforced the wisdom that my choices were my source of empowerment.
Even with these empowered role models, I became the victim of teen relationship violence and struggled to get out of the abusive situation that limited my vision of my choices. Over time and with the support of others, I ended that unhealthy relationship and committed to my own empowerment.
Influenced by this formative experience and recognizing the pandemic of violence against women throughout our nation and the world, I began volunteering in domestic violence shelters and on rape crisis hotlines. More times than I can count, I witnessed courageous women making the choice to be the heroine in their lives and not the victim, as a result of being in a supportive and safe environment.
I learned so much about empowerment and choice through witnessing these remarkable women transform their lives with the support of others that I committed my life and career to the empowerment of women.
Today I am blessed to empower women to live with more peace, joy, and meaning through the practice of self-nurturing in my own business, and I educate and empower women through the non-profit Leap to Success who are rebuilding their lives from domestic violence, homelessness and other major life challenges.
In all that I do, choice is the ultimate empowerment tool.
Understanding that we have choices and cultivating our power to choose is life changing. Recognizing the infinite possibilities available to us as a result of our self-awareness, self-compassion, self-love, mindfulness, and gratitude practice create the foundation of the work I do with women. Through this healing process choice become critical to developing a sustainable and empowering self-nurturing practice.
As Marianne Williamson reminds us, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?”
What empowered choice will you make today?
How will you play the heroine in your own life?
How can you support other women in becoming the heroines in their own lives?
May you embrace the power of choice in order to nurture peace in the world from the inside out!
Sending you so much peace, love and gratitude,
Kelley Grimes, M.S.W.
Counselor, Author & Speaker
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Kelley love the image and the opening quote. I asked myself a similar question this morning: What empowered choice will I make today? I empowered people through love, joy and abundance that come when They love themselves unconditionally. Not always easy. Being the hero/heroine can be challenging as often we have to get out of out own way. xxoo
I so appreciate your understanding about empowering other through encouraging them to love themselves unconditionally! Thank you so much Suzie for your comment and the inspiring work you do in the world!
Great post Kelley! I can relate to this so much! I had to be the heroine of my own life years ago too, and that choice started a beautiful path of self-discovery and incredible growth! I love the work you do, you are so needed! Thanks for sharing 🙂
I love that your empowered choice started you on a beautiful path of self-discovery and growth Patricia! I am so grateful for your kind words and lovely comment!
We always have a choice. Years ago when I went through divorce and breast cancer, I learned the importance of choice vs. the drain of obligation and have to. Before I could change my circumstances I needed to change how I thought and the words that shaped my thoughts.
Beautiful insight Peggy! Thank you so much for sharing your experience and recognition of the power of choice. I am very grateful!
I have a Louise Hay Power Thought Card sitting next to me right now that says: “I claim my own power and I lovingly create my own reality.” Once we know we have a choice, the whole world opens up for us.
I am so grateful for the power of choice and inspiration that unfolds as I recognize more and more possibilities in my life Barb. I adore the Louise Hay Power Thought Cards and love that one! Thank you so much for your comment!
Wonderful! Thank you Kelley. I relate to this because I have been a victim of abuse and shaming. The power lies in choosing to rise above and live fully. That’s what I have been doing and it has enabled me open my heart and be able to assist others.
Thank you Leila for your thoughtful comment and sharing how overcoming challenges has enabled you to open your heart and assist others!
I have always felt the heroine in my own life and many past lives as well. It’s a blessing to feel this way as I have seen too many women feel like the victim or unfortunately play that victim role, knowingly or unknowingly. I’ve also seen many women heal from that due to their own strength and the assistance of other women and men who encourage, inspire and lend empowerment. If we could all be that for ourselves and others at all times this would be a much better world. A healed on and one that we eventually wouldn’t have to heal from! That’s my dream.
Beautiful Heather! Thank you for sharing your experience!
If and when I let people know how I spent the majority of my career, the often ask me how I was able to work in the field of addiction and intimate violence. Child abuse, sexual assault, domestic violence and everything that goes along with them. But you already know the answer — and wrote about it in this post. Women making choices to change their lives for the better — what’s more inspiring than that? Thanks for sharing!
I totally agree Andrea! So inspiring! Thank you for the work you have done and the perspective that you bring!